I have been grinning madly since Teh Dream. I just cannot get Liam out of my head, or specifically his smile & eyes. I'd even try paint remover if it were not so hazardous to my health. I mean, I cannot work when every sixth second I hit this transparent, non-existing wall that has Liam's face slapped on it. Seriously, this is not funny anymore. So, Liam, pretty plese, although you are great actor and all that shite will you just be so kind and piss off? At least while I am working. I do not terrorise you while you're working, do I?
...Now, that's a scary thought. *grins*

So, last night I thought that I just might give a try and watch Rob Roy and just maybe I could get Liam out of my head. No such luck. First half an hour-fourty-five minutes I was seriously thinking of crawling into a sack and explode. Those of ye who have seen the film, this scene where Rob takes a morning swim and then goes to his wife all cold & wet (the water in that lake did not look very warm) and all that follows... Well, then there is me, staring at telly, transfixed, gasping and thinking how can I get there, in that scene? *grins* I am glad that not all was shown. Some things are better to be left for the imagination. To follow the previous thought, Liam with very little on, sneaking in my bed to wake my up à la Rob Roy, fresh from morning swim...*fans self* *goes out to stand in the cold*
Now, we all know that will never happen...*weeps*

Rika made me scream just a minute ago. She says she'll tape some Jay Leno for me. She said that Liam's in it, talking about Kinsey. Another film I'd like to see on big screen, but one that will most propably come out on a DVD. Shite on this back of beyond sorry excuse of a country.

What made you think that I want too meet Liam Neeson? Because I don't and then again I do. I don't want to meet this public-figure-Liam-Neeson, no, absolutely not. I'd Like to meet the man and preferably so that he don't know that I am a fan. *scratches head* There's a challenge. After all, Liam's just a man, like anyone else. This is quite brutal but after a drinkfest the man will have a hangover and if you are not too careful it might be that you'll catch the man faxing to Japan. Sorry, Liam, a healthy dose of realism is appropriate from time to time and I am no better than I just described, so there. I admit, sometimes I drink too much. For the Finns I would put it like this: Paskalla se käy niin kun muutkin. No offence. To anyone.
For the record, I love the man to pieces. Because of many reasons and not the least because he's very talented.
*sigh* There should be a cataloque, a company, or something whence you could order 'your copy' of your favourite actor/actress/musician or whatever.
/*puts a lid on the can*

Renny-Alexander, still haunted by Liam




09/12/04 Dreams in Technicolor & THX

All right, Dear Sys was here and we went over to Dad's for the Independence Day week-end. I hopped on the wheel on my trusted Audi (still without a name) and drove some 500+ kilometres in rain, sleet and flying shite. Me poor car is very dirty now. *pout* There is one thing that I learned: Do not, under any circumstances, hook a trailer at the back of your car and leave only the rear brim (?) where it is supposed to be. No, never do that! Rika and I were wondering why the engine was overheating but drove 30km before stopping and I just ripped the damned rear brim off and threw it in the boot like goodbye! After that, no problem, all well. To be honest, I was a bit low on glycol (?) & water i.e. the cooling liquids. *shames* And the motor oil is, well, black. Rika said that it was funny to look at me, a screwdriver in my hand zing!zing!-ing the ice & snow on the trailer as I was ripping the brim off. A scene from a Norman Bates film?

*pops open a can of fangasm* li3k!omg!!!111 Liam! *faints* *closes teh can and hides it in the bottom drawer*

Sorry, random fangirlism. But after last night...*phew!* I seriously believe I have a right to go bonkers. All night I dreamt of no-one else but Liam with his immensly blue eyes and teh pretteh smile. *rolls eyes & faints* As my dreams have a bad habit of being a carbon copy of reality it is no wonder that I dream my dreams in colours and I hear voices and sounds. Like if there is a car passing by, I hear it, as I would when I'm awake. This happens every night, but then there are dreams in which I can smell things, like aftershave or like, and I can feel things, sand between my toes or a touch. As I said, a carbon copy of reality and this dream of Liam was one of those. I will not go into details but Tommi, my darling friend, if I ever dreamt of you, those dreams were nothing but a pale shadow of this one!
There is another dream I had a long ago, of my dearly beloved Jedi, Qui-Gon. A carbon copy of reality, again, but as I woke up, every muscle in body was screaming. In that dream gazillion of knee-high creatures (jawas?) fell on us, Qui-Gon and I, and as a result I was sore the following morning. And no, I had not trahsed in my sleep and the day before I had not done any physical work.
How's this possible? No Freudian, or any -ian, explanation will do, thank you very much, because there is none. It is just me & my life, things like this happen to me. There is a reason why I dream of Liam & Qui-Gon & Tommi & strange things, places I have never been to. I know it is not very easy to believe this, it took me a great many years to believe it myself, but I am a Jedi Padawan and I can see things before they happen. This dream of Liam, 'though it was a very beautiful dream, it is no more that a 'warning', a wake up call for me too open my eyes and get ready for yet another turning point in my life. Twice this has happened before and now, having said all the above, my life will remain as it has been so far and this Liam dream is no more than just another carbon copy dream. *grins*

Renny-Alexander, still haunted by Liams blue eyes, husky voice and pretteh smile




28/11/04

Just another idea... *beams*

Rika and I are planning a long-ish week-end in Dublin/Ireland. *scratches head* How long has it been since I've last been there? Too long!
Anyway, there is only one way to get there cheap, RyanAir. Oh, I know their policy and all that, I've flown from Stanstead to Shannon and back. But that is not the issue here. The point is that there is no direct flight from Tampere to anywhere in Ireland. *pout* And it gets even better, only one flight per day from Tampere to Stanstead and no way to get to Irleand that day! Wonderful /sarcasm. So it is either to take another air carrier that'll cost arm and two legs or spend 7+ hours at Stanstead airport. I pick the waiting.
Tomorrow, among gazillion of other things, I need to find out how much it would actually cost per year to have either Visa or Master. *sigh* I can't wait to get my hands on a good pint of Guinness! And I will propably get on all fours right outside the Dublin airport and kiss the ground. *laughs*
It'll be so wonderful to go to Dublin where I can find my way around and appear to be something else than just a stupid tourist! I would also like to go down to Limerick, just to see my friends that way. Gee, seriously, people, I miss them all, Rob, Paul, Lillian, Gillian, Claire, Mark, Liam...All of them! Shite, I even miss Michael 'teh God'. *grins* There is someone else I'd like to see too. And believe me, never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd like to see Gary from Cork again, but I do!
I better stop this, before I get the 'Ireland blues', again.

Renny-Alexander




27/11/04

So, about a thousand miles, two heavy snow falls, 200 hours at work and one crashed space ship later:

The office Christmas Party is over & done with. Suprisingly I did not spent the following day suffering from hang-over headache. Mostly because I had the immense wisdom to stay off whiskey, beer & wine, that's all. Whiskey and I do not mix well, at least in the morning after, since I have to make a sport out of whiskey drinking (½ bottle at the very least!) and the result is that the next day, up until 5pm I am mortally afraid that I might die and after 5pm I am mortally afraid that I might still live. We went to this Viking restaurant Harald here in Tampere and I had to phone my sister that we must go there and have the 'shield' menu! (Sorry, most of the info is in Finnish!) Anyway, the writers' course I'm on also decided to go there, so more good food coming this way. *licks lips*

I have been thinking about Christmas presents too. I know what I'll get for my mom and dad but Rika...I seriously don't know what to get for her. Oh, I do know but I just can't get the, eh, 'item'? So sorry sys, as much as I would like, I cannot give you this man. Nor can I give you him. So sorry.

Sorry, more to tell, but I just got a load of shit dumped on me. Lost my happy thought. Upset. Very much.

Renny-Alexander




13/11/04

Another week closer to Christmas...*shivers* No, don't get me wrong, I like the mentioned holiday, I do. It is the weeks before Christmas that I dislike the most. Robbbie Willams put it quite right, 'overdose of Christmas'. That's what I get, every year. Think about it, every shop has all this Christmas-junk piled up to roof and the 'decorations' trip you on the front door and the only music they play is all these happy-happy, cheery Santa Claus tunes and/or these Jesus-is-born (again!)-chants so loud that your ears will fall off. Add this, super markets in particular, and a gazillion knee-high kids who stare at the piles and piles of toys stacked on top of another and them then running to their mothers screaming on top of their 'little' voices something like 'mum-come-see-what-i-must-have-for-i-don't-have-it-and-all-my-friends-will-get-one-so-i-must-have-one-too' and the parents, already stresed out because of the holiday just push their kids aside and the screaming gets louder and the parents more stressed... You see where this leads to? Just before Chirstmas you see more angry and short tempered people than before any other holiday.
...Hmmm, you know that I am exaggerating just a little, but you get the idea. This force-feeding of Christmas is what I deteste to no end. Both sides of it, the commercial and the religious. I don't ilke the idea that the in order to have a 'real' Christmas, you must have all this decorations, starting from the out-door lights up to the Christmas-print toiletpaper. Then the religious side tells that you are BAD if you don't think that Christmas is celebrated only because Jesus was born and if you got to extremes with the comercial side of it, you endanger your immortal soul and blah blah blah.
Seriously people, the fact is that,
1) We do not know exactly the day Jesus was born, we only assume that it was on December 25th, or thereabouts.
2) Originally Christmas was a celebration of winter solstice, that the darkest day of the year was behind and spring was coming.
So, you can only imagine what of stroke of good luck it was for the early christian priests that the 'pagans' had their biggest celebration of the year almost at the same time as their saviour was born. Because their 'mission' to bring all the peoples of the land to the 'one true God'! I cant think of a better way to do it. First teach the 'stupid pagans' about the One True God and Saviour and then say that your 'pagan' ways are sin and the One True God will punish you if you will not let go of your two thousand years old traditions.
Oh, please!
I am not saying that all christian traditions are bad, no, it is just the extreme end, the fanatical end of christianity that I don't like. It is very same with all else, like this commercial side of Christmas, that you must have heaps of presents for all your loved ones, that without all these little tiny details (toilet paper!) you will not have a Christmas.
I like my mornings and Christmases quiet, thank you very much. I only want to be left alone, be with my family, watch TV, eat good food. I don't need all these lights and decorations to make Christmas real.

Some of you might know that my life has never been uneventfull. So is my work, anything can happen, at any minute. Last night, a night train leaving @ 19.20 from Helsinki to Kemijärvi. All goes well for the first half an hour and then, out of the blue, all lights on the customer side just go off. Just like that. Bam! We look at one another like whatthefuck? Second thought is that it is very quiet in the kitchen. The cash register is working, so are the two fluorecent lights in the vicinity and the emergency lights on the customer side. A closer inspection with the conductor reveals that the main light fuse is blown as is two other. Ok, he just switched them on again and whatdoyaknow, in less than a minute all blown, again! So, we turned the lights on half and tried again. This time it seemed to work. Back to normal work and I return to the quiet kitchen. The air compressor that is suppose to keep the fridges & freezers cold is silent and prssing the button that is supposed to bring the compressor back to life will not work. So, on the phone to the company, explain the situation and believe me, it took a quite a while for the info to sink in, the laddie at the other end was all questions. I can understand why, the train had left not two hours before and already it was trashed and it would take another 30+ hours before it would be back.
Well, the truth been told, the lights worked for another twenty minutes and then the fuses blew once again. This time I went there all by myself and turned them on. All fine, but for a click click that lasted thirty seconds and the BAM! and blue sparks. All righty then! I switched the main fuse on with the tip of a pen, I would not get electrocuted by that thing! It is not 220V that slaps on your fingers, oh no, it is 1500 and that is just enough scare me off. If the pros want to fry their brains, fine, I am not touching that again. I am no electrician and I am not even pretending to be, but I do know that the cables outside somehow short-circuited. Rika said that it only needs a small crack on the cable insulation and since it was a bit wet last night, the cable don't even need to touch ground before the fuses are blown. Sorta like overload the system with ground contact. And no chance to get it fixed before Sunday....

Would you believe that I did not choose this life? *grins*

Renny-Alexander




07/11/04

*gasp* ................ *gasp* O_o *gasp*
First. Glimpse. Of Episode 3. *faints!*
*sigh* Another 6 months to go. Part of me wants that day never to come, another part cannot wait. I want to see how that story 'ends' but at the same time it means that there won't be another film coming out, at least not in the very near future.

I wonder when they start selling tickets for the film....
/fandom

Tell me, with what you end up if you put two weeks of work, about 2000 miles, very little sleep and a roster that changes by the hour together? Anyone? No? A very cranky R-A. And after I had given all, and more, to the company, one particular person had the immensly bright idea of asking me to change two shifts! I said no can do, I must get my laudry done, I positively have to wash my hair and get rid of the grime & dirt in my apartment. Also I would very much appreciate if I could get more sleep than five hours a night, thank you very much! Oh, and I know that the person I blew up on is now sulking at me. It is easy for her to sit behind that nice & neat desk and whine at me that there is no-one else but EXCUSE ME FOR BEING TIRED!!! YOU don't have to get up at three in the morning and be on your feet for 18 hours a day and be WITH people, always at your best, always kind and all smiley-faced. For your information, a day off is NOT such that your shift ends a quarter past midnight (00.15) and your next shift begins some 28 hours later, at four in the morning! Yes, it leaves plenty of time off, but if the first 12 hours are used to balance your need of sleep and the 8 shift-preceeding hours you think 'oh, I cannot do that because I have to be at work four in the morning and it would be nice to have my head with me.' Aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhh!!!! *takes the person in question by the throat and slaps the face in cartoon style* Phew! I feel instantly better about myself. ;) It is true, most often the office staff have no idea, none what so ever, about the physical demands of my work, it is so easy to shift papers around in an office. Suggestion: Come out and play this game as we do it and maybe you might just learn something! Note: not all of you are alike, it is just one of you who don't seem to understand this simple phrase: I am tired. /frustration

I am much better now, no lack of sleep anymore. All I planned to do is done, execpt for the ironing of some clothes that are still a bit damp. And thank you Tatu! Somehow you always cheer me up. *hugs Tatu*

I have to go and find a 'suitable' planet for the next part of my story... The truth is that I propably get stuck on the Official Pages, again. *deep sigh*

Renny-Alexander




28/10/04

Finally, it only took me three weeks to get this lay up & running. Work does interfere with my hobbies. *grins* Seriously, I've been going from one end of this country to the other, literally, for two weeks now and the little time off I've had has been for sleep. After 14 hour day the very last thing in your mind is the lay. Or doing something to it because the minute you see your bed, your eyes, quite literally, slam shut. I am a bit under the weather, 'thoug, might be the lack of sleep, or the time of the year. Winter's coming, that sort of thing. Or then it is just 'good old flu' showing its ugly face. I don't know and it seems that 'Irish medication' don't have any effect on it. I tried, last night, waste of good whisky. *grunts*/whining.

About the lay, I give you Tai-Pan & May-may. I must have read the book ten times and so far I have not got tired of it, though I know how the book will end. In all honesty I must confess that I envy James Clavell. I wish I could write such a book that'd hold the reader from page one to the end, time and time again. *sigh* I just have to write, pages after pages and learn to tell all and nothing and maybe one day I have my very own Dirk Struan. Maybe.
Some years back my friend said that he doesn't understand how it can take a year to finnish one book. He was talking about this one series, can't remember what it was and that is not even relevant. I don't remember what I said to him, but I do remember wondering that if he really knew what it takes to write a book, even if it is a series and the sixth or so part of it. It is not so that you sit down at your comp, or typewriter or sit down with a pen and pile of paper and start writing and get ready-to-print story. No, it just doesn't work like that at all. The actual writing is the easy part, just put down your thoughts, but the real work comes after that, the editing part. The finding of a better word or a better way to say something, deleting a part of the story, writing new in between chapters, rearranging chapters, all this and more. So, this friend of mine was readinf these books in Finnish, traslated from English and he had the nerve to whine! If I have done my homework properly, it takes quite a while to translate 300+ pages. Traslating is more than just understanding what is written, the idioms and that. I like to think that translating is something like writing the book all over again, in different language because one must find the way to say it all in good, say, Finnish.
This is how I see it.

Ugh, I still have some eight pages to edit today, of my very own story, so I'm off, to slap this on the Net and then to shower.
Renny-Alexander